His eyes pause, with the rest of the body remaining tense and swaying. The swaying is an attempt to escape. To get rid of something invisible. I guide his attention to the fact that the rest of his body hasn’t paused. He stops moving completely.
The energy that was previously dissipated into small, yet non-concrete movements, the nervous twitching and the swallowing now remains within.
His whole body-being looks now utterly! distressed, swollen somehow, swelling. His head hanging heavy as if weighed down by lead. Rigid. As if he might implode into a thousand pieces any minute; yet there is none of the previous nervous energy.
Suddenly he calls out: “ But I wanna get rid of what is IN the hat!!!“
The sentence comes shooting out like a loud desperate call that even seems to surprise himself! (New insight!)
„What is in the hat?“ I ask softly, after a while.
„Sadness“. He starts to cry softly, but continuously, his chin wobbling. The energetic swelling reducing. Pain is still visible, but his body is calming.
I give him lots of time and space, but am gently encouraging to allow all the sensations and feelings present. It is a hard process for a man to show himself this vulnerable in front of an other person. Men of a certain generation have often though not always experienced beatings as part of their ‚parental education‘; the less they cried the less beatings they had to endure…nothing more needs to be said.
A big release occurred here that will be anchored, because he experienced this with his whole being.
It often happens that people are asking me: „But how do I get out of this, out of here? I don’t wanna be in this!!!?
The truth is: You get out, by getting really INTO IT. There is no shortcut for this journey. If we try to suppress it or escape, the symptoms will simply get louder and louder.